Oh God this is worse than I anticipated. Yeah, well the only difference between this reunion and the movie about Romy and Michelle is that I'm here by myself while you're in Ft. Lauderdale. At least they had each other. These people are ridiculous. I don't even know why I'm here. If it's for an ego boost, well, I'm in the wrong building. Everyone looks great. I'm not going to lie. I know you can't see them but they do. They look great. Ok I just realized that there is no way I'm going to tell these people that I drive limos for a living. Well, I think it's embarrassing. What would be a cool job to tell people about? Are you kidding? No one is going to believe that I'm a celebrity trainer. I'm on the brink of morbid obesity, Kathy! Shut up. You're such a hag. How about dolphin trainer? I used to talk about that a lot in high school. Oh yeah, remember when I was going to move to San Diego after graduation? It didn't work out because I was in love with Gary at the time and he was a selfish prick. Ah, I mean I guess it wasn't meant to be. For real, at least. Now is my chance to be that dolphin trainer. Yeah, it is kind of like that Seinfeld episode where George pretends to be a marine biologist. If no one brings a rebel dolphin with them tonight then I think my cover will be safe. I really hope I don't run into Gary tonight. I'm afraid to see him. What if he has a hot model wife and he's a boss of a lot of people or something? Yeah I guess I shouldn't worry about it. Eh, right now I'm kind of just hanging out by myself. I'm by the food. The chipped beef is kind of salty. No! Please don't hang up. Ahhhh, I can't sit here alone. I'll look like a fool. Please! I really don't want to pretend I'm texting to appear looking occupied. Ok. Ok. You're right. Alright, I'm going in. Yeah I'm going to go talk to this mass of people. Can you just remind me how cool I am once more?
Inspired by: Big Boi (Feat. Gucci Mane) - "Shine Blockas"
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