I am amazing at making festive bows. Before there was me there were no bows on packages. Sure, there were ribbons but that gets old. I give life to boring boxes. Let me ask you something. If you received this plain boring box and inside the box was a package of standard drinking straws that you got from your husband on your fiftieth wedding anniversary, you'd be pretty disappointed right? Unless you and your husband were giant milkshakes, you're damn right you'd be disappointed! Now if we take that same box and add a bow to the top, now you're thinking "Ok, there must be some sort of meaning behind this." That bow is going to save your marriage. You look confused. Well, don't be. Bows are simple. Just watch me do it. Incredible. I'm incredible at it. It's my shtick. My technique is something that is inherent. Do I use it to get women into bed? You bet I do. When I meet an interesting woman for the first time I usually bring up bow making in the beginning. I could talk about it forever because I'm so good at it but my words don't do my ability justice. I make women swoon because of my bows. I'm the Rachel Ray of bow making. Not like I consider myself a 'domestic diva' or anything. I'm just a dude who loves to make extravagant bows. So good that before me there was no reason to give gifts in the first place. As a matter of fact, I'm the reason that babies are born.
Inspired by: Trey Songz (Feat. Drake) - "Invented Sex"
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