It's been a little difficult adjusting to life as a woman. Particularly talking about my non existent dick. The other day I was fooling around with my lady friend, Deborah, and I whispered in her ear "I'm so hard" and her elegant woman face turned repulsive. Meaning she looked repulsed by what I said. I just thought "Shit Christine, you're fucking this up. She likes you because you have a vagina now." Yet I can't help expressing my feelings the way "Chris" (my former self) would. I throw the lesbians off their game. I'm not a butch dyke in the least. When people first meet me they assume I've always been a woman but little do they know I used to pack an enormous wiener. I like the way my jeans fit now. They hug my shapely ass in ways that The Men's Warehouse would never consider. One thing I miss about being a dude is the freedom to scratch my balls whenever the mood strikes. It's not appropriate for a lady to paw at her crotch in public. I'm learning this. This happened to me when I was in line at the Krispy Kreme. I was asked to leave the store! Isn't that outrageous? What a double standard! I guess that's the price you have to pay to wear a dress these days. I've never been a built guy so I'm lovin' strapless dresses. Especially with my new rack. Gosh, I just can't tell you how elated I am to be a woman in a woman's body. I only wish I had done this sooner. I'll never tire of having my hair brushed or nails painted. The basic luxuries of being a woman. You know and I honestly can't understand why Chaz Bono decided to give that up. Sure he could still have his nails painted but that would be silly. What it all boils down to is feeling secure in your own body. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I've gained a new set of plumbing and a new sense of entitlement. I kind of wish I still had my beard though....chicks love that.
Inspired by: Rihanna (Feat. Young Jeezy) - "So Hard"
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